


regain blue

by viviandromeda



Category: Romancing SaGa 2 (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fish out of Water, POV Second Person, and then back in water, gay mermaid marriage, many liberties taken with canon and game mechanics, slight empress/rocbouquet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26573395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viviandromeda/pseuds/viviandromeda
Summary: "Trust me, kid. You would be much happier not being the Emperor."You're not a human, and you're not supposed to be in charge of anything. The only reason you're here is a destiny of misfortune.
Relationships: Nereid (Romancing Saga 2)/Mermaid (Romancing Saga 2)
Kudos: 4





	regain blue

The lake-your home-is clear. But it was not always so, you are told. Long ago, a human traveled far and wide to find a Moonlight Comb, purifying its waters and earning the trust of your people. You've seen the Comb, as it's a treasured artifact of the Nereids. It's an ethereal and pearlescent thing that doesn't look like any other comb you've seen, and it seems strange and magical enough to have some power like that. But this all happened centuries ago, and no humans have come to the lake in all those years.

Or so you are told.

* * *

One night, you have a strange dream, one where you're traveling with several humans to a temple made of stone. A statue blocks the path to the main structure, sitting atop a flight of stairs, but as you approach, a voice calls out, and it begins to move. Fighting in such a narrow space and awkward has your companions at a significant disadvantage, and while the battle appears to be going well at first due to its slow speed, one by one its giant weapon begins to fell them, virtually crushing them in a single blow. You feel yourself begin to flee, but a person blocks the way out, a wicked smile on their face. The last thing you remember before you're jarred back awake is looking down and seeing...legs? Is that what they're called?

You tell no one of this dream. The entire experience was so foreign, you could hardly begin to describe it. Yet it's only the first of many. Though the others are less vivid, feeling like hazy memories or dark portents, the people start to become familiar. Long-haired magic users with matching-colored robes and hoods. (Unlike the others, you begin to recognize their names easily; each is also the name of a precious stone.) Enormous warriors who endure blow after blow in combat and remain standing. There are calm combatants who wield large, curved blades with impossible grace, such that you can barely see them move, and frenetic fighters who never seem to stop moving, even as they pelt enemies with flurries of arrows. And then there are the "mole people", the only non-humans you've seen allied with the people in your dreams. In one dream, you see one of them create a familiar item at a human's request...the Moonlight Comb!

From these rare events you can truly make sense of, you've started to understand the dreams better, but this means that instead of not telling the other Nereids because you don't know how, you realize you simply don't want to worry them. Eventually, they'll pass...or perhaps they won't, but in that case telling them won't prevent you from having to face whatever it is they mean. One night, for the first time in many moons, you don't have a dream, but the sinking feeling in your gut remains. You finally tell a few of your closest friends in the lake, and wait anxiously near the water's surface, not far from the point on the shore the humans last visited. They don't arrive that day, but you return the next, and late in the day they finally arrive.

By now you've been able to piece together what will happen: they'll ask you to take the mantle of leadership of their realm, to continue a seemingly endless and futile struggle against seven ancient and now monstrous "heroes" who seem to seek control and domination over the human world. Hope has risen as many factions from around the world have risen to join the cause, and a few Heroes have been defeated over the centuries, but even developing the technology and diplomatic relations to confront a single one of them has proven a process of generations for each since the first. Gerard, the original Emperor's son, learned the secret to defeat Kzinssie from his father Leon, but the magic which allows for this succession of knowledge and power among the myriad rulers began to choose its next owner much more arbitrarily, and over time humans from across the realm unexpectedly ascended to the great throne in Ascalon, rather than Gerard's own daughter. Another Hero, Bokohn, controlled a strange boat, sailing across a vast grassland rather than a body of water. Although it took quite some time for the empire's tacticians to devise a practical plan for attacking the fortress, the empire's forces found him to be a rather weak opponent once they actually engaged him in combat. And the third, Noel, was found near an oasis in a vast sea of sand. Although he looked almost human, his punches, kicks, and flame attacks demonstrated a supernatural ferocity and power which allowed him to push even five opponents at once to their limits.

The emperor from your first dream, Achilles, was slain in pursuit of Rocbouquet, a sadistic and callous woman who'd taken control of a distant rainforest. She was the person you'd seen before his death, and it seemed as though he'd failed to fully understand his situation. Couldn't he have just fought her somewhere else?

After they arrive, introduce themselves, and are sufficiently convinced that you are the person they're looking for, you ask them that question. The leader of the retinue, a man wearing a uniform you've seen in your dreams but usually associate with doing some kind of accounting work in the castle, turns his head downward and pinches his nose. You ask Sapphire about it later.

"It's not that the minister doubts your ability or knowledge, trust me. I think he just fears that you may not be very _worldly_ ," she says.

This _is_ the first time you've left the lake, it's true, but that seems a little unfair.

* * *

You begin the journey to return to Avalon the next day. It's tiring to move on land, though, breathing air constantly all day and moving without the water to support and flow with you. By the time you reach Tefal, the nearest town to the lake, it's clear that the journey will take an amount of time your human companions find unacceptable if you have to move the whole distance yourself. Riding a horse without legs is even more implausible, but since you _are_ an esteemed person now the expenses are cleared to build a palanquin for your long-distance traveling needs. However, Sapphire makes sure to impress upon you that you'll be expected to handle all the duties of an Empress despite this accommodation, including fighting.

Of course, you're not alone in this. The city of Avalon and its grand castle are filled with dozens of people who have worked tirelessly since the news of Achilles' death reached them to prepare for your arrival, from the astronomers and historians who learned your location to teachers and trainers of all sorts, whose sole duty in life is to prepare you fully for your own role in the Empire. Numerous instructors at the university drill you on the finer points of the world's geography, history, and cultures, while others work to impress upon you subjects such as the basic concerns of the castle's finances and combat tactics. (To your ire, your home is called "Lake Aqua" by the humans, apparently an old word for "water." You would love to tell them your people's name for the lake, and the rich history it describes, but the word is impossible to pronounce in air.) The morning after your coronation, Sapphire introduces you to the other mages at the institute; it's expected that your inherent attunement to the element of Water and difficulty moving quickly on land makes you suited for a supporting role as a magic user in combat rather than a weapon user. The mages spend several days attempting to assess your aptitude in the other elements to determine your optimal field of study, but predictably, you struggle with all three of the other choices. With some effort you're able to learn a defensive skill, blocking attacks with light magic, and a powerful ice magic combining light with water for offensive purposes, but the healing water magic you already knew is still the only kind that comes naturally, and remains a comfort in this strange land.

But despite the admiration of the townspeople, and an army of especially devoted servants aiming to make your residence in the castle as comfortable as possible, Avalon is no place for you to live. Human society has a few perks. For one thing, there are no apples underwater. But the throne is too small for your body, and its awkward shape and harsh corners make it unpleasant to sit on in any position you try. The stones of the castle and streets are hard and cold, and in the rare moments you can even attempt to enjoy being outdoors, the air offers no protection from the ceaseless burning of the sun. At least the emperor's bed, too lavish and huge for a single human, is the right size. It's a small comfort, but your overstuffed schedule of obligations ensures you never get quite enough sleep. And you still have the dreams.

Finally, the day comes for your journey to truly begin. It's been several months of effort, but the castle's ministers are sufficiently convinced of your capabilities. Although you're free to travel as you wish, it's been strongly suggested that you continue the pursuit of Rocbouquet. In part, this is because it's believed you may have a tactical advantage compared to your predecessor, as aside from her mastery of dark magic, men have often proven especially vulnerable to her immense powers of suggestion. But before that, you must decide who you'll take as comrades on your journey. Of course, you choose Sapphire, since her magic powers complement your own, and you've worked with her longer than any other human. The trust you feel in her is unmatched by anyone else, and it doesn't hurt that her soft blue eyes remind you just a bit of your home. Tancred, one of the castle's newly trained elite guard, also agrees to come along. For another, you hope to recruit one of the hunters of the steppe, both for strategic use in combat and for a chance of seeing the strange ships that once waged war upon the grasslands. Alas, they've long since been reclaimed by the earth. But your trip is hardly in vain, as Alia holds back tears when you ask her to join you. She's spent a lifetime training for this journey, far longer than your months at the castle in Avalon, even knowing how unlikely it was she'd be selected at all, much less for such an important battle. From her clan's camp, you begin the final leg of your journey to the rainforest the next day.

* * *

The forest is wetter and darker than most of the other places you've been since you left the lake, but it's still not very comfortable, and the maps which have been assembled by the Empire's expeditions over the years leave much to be desired. You begin by attempting to travel to one of the unmarked areas, the one closest to where Achilles met his end. The terrain is treacherous, and the need to conserve energy by avoiding fighting the dangerous beasts and vegetation throughout the jungle makes the journey a slow one. After several days, you steadily make your way to the location in question, and find a woman fighting with a large cat. After her victory, she raises an eyebrow seeing you, but on closer inspection, lowers her arms and beckons you closer. She hesitates again seeing Tancred, but after signaling him not to follow past this point, takes your other companions back to a village close by.

Her name is Jeanne, and after hearing your intentions to face Rocbouquet, she immediately states her wish to aid you. Originally, she and the other members of the village had lived in a nearby town, but after Rocbouquet appeared, she quickly took most of the men there into her thrall, declaring herself the queen and putting them to task exploring the ruins of the forest. The previous Emperor, having not known of these events, had fallen for her ruse as a helpless woman in one of those ruins, and perhaps even more greatly under her sway, before she trapped him in deadly combat against one of the ruins' guardians.

You follow Jeanne to the ruins from your dream, but the statue has since been destroyed, and even traveling deep inside them, you find only the directions to an even older ruin, a great tower sunk halfway into a riverbed in current times. Faced with a seemingly endless amount of traps, pitfalls, and terrifying monsters, you begin to fear that this quest will prove fruitless after all. Yet incredibly, upon reaching the bottom, you find your target at what appears to be a great altar. You feel a chill as she turns to face you.

Covered in flowers, her hair shines with a silvery glint and frames her face perfectly. In her smile and dull golden eyes are a terrifying wickedness, but also a feeling of raw emotion you've never seen before. She is, without a doubt, the most beautiful being you've seen in your life. "I've been waiting for you, _Emperor_ ," she says, with a lilt in her voice, and for the first time in a long while, you wonder if you've gotten a little out of your depth here.

"I take it this means you didn't get enough the first time, then? No matter. I can take you as many times as you want."

In the dim torchlight of the lowest section of the tower, your allies charge forward to the decisive battle. Jeanne rushes in at the fore, with years of fury behind each of her spear thrusts, while Tancred approaches more deliberately, trying not to pose a danger to the rest of you. You and the others hang back for this battle, just as you've planned, and room quickly fills with the din of crashing spells, and flashes of lightning and fire magic clashing. For just a moment she escapes the relentless pursuit of your team's melee fighters, and sends a great wave of darkness in your direction. You have the perfect counter prepared, deflecting it with your blade of light just in time, but the instant your vision clears, that light gleams in her eyes in such a peculiar way, and you suddenly lose yourself, beginning to cast your water magic to heal _her_ , rather than your allies. She laughs, and you see nothing but her and the wicked joy on her face, which doesn't fade even when her brief moment of triumph does, as Sapphire's flame coils around her and your allies deliver powerful strikes to defeat her for good. But it's clear to her final breaths that in her own way, she feels she's come out on top.

Jeanne returns to her people, hoping to reunite the villages with the threat dealt with, and the others also begin their journey home. But not you. You must return to Avalon, which is still not your home, and never will be.

* * *

You don't know if you'll ever be able to return to the lake, even if your duties as the Empress end. It's not that you've become accustomed to the human world, but you and everything around you have changed so much that you're sure it will never feel the same as it did. There's time to rest and recuperate when you return to the castle, but it's hard to find enthusiasm for anything. You stay in the bed, mostly, and sometimes try to write about everything you've experienced in the human world. It's hard when everything feels like such a blur. The rare times you head into the town, the people living there are more excited to see you than ever, but it takes all your effort even to smile for them. Within a couple years, there's a new lead on the trail of the Heroes. The ministers are suspiciously excited to have you investigate, especially after they've mostly left you to your own devices lately, but you soon learn the reason: there are rumors that one of them is amassing his forces area around the Longit Sea.

Well, it could be worse. If they were trying to persuade you to go to the volcano, or the desert, or one of those super-snowy mountains in the south, you'd refuse forever on principle. But you doubt you'll take to the saltwater as easily as they hope, either.

Your search begins with just Sapphire and Tancred alongside you, heading from Avalon to Toba, on the southwest side of the sea, as they have a close relationship with the nomadic clan of the southern mountains. You don't hear anything about Subier, but there's talk of mermaids in the sea, who are said to have once lived in a town across the water. "What's a mermaid?" you ask once, receiving the most bewildered look a human has ever given you. According to them, you look just like one.

You're able to catch a boat to this other town, Atlanticus, a few days later. It's late at night when you arrive, and as your companions head right for the inn to get started early in the morning, you slip into the pub there for some food and drink. The fish are fresh and well prepared, but the taste is different from what you remember in the lake, and the drinks the sailors are accustomed to are much more bitter than the cider in Avalon. It's fine enough, and filling, but it feels a little off, as human things always do. You sit there, wistfully, considering whether to buy another drink, when a woman slips in through the back door of the bar. You've heard a few people talking about a dancer who comes in almost every night, especially in the last hour as the place has really started to fill up. This woman, with her wavy blue hair, glittering jewelry, revealing top, and long slitted skirt would certainly fit the bill. People start to settle into chairs and stools almost immediately, while you take a seat (as it were) on the floor near the bar, at the edge of the space that's been cleared out for her performance. She claps her hands twice, and the room goes silent with anticipation. A man behind the bar begins strumming on a stringed instrument, and her dance begins.

The first tune is lively, and she sweeps around the stage, the clattering of her jewelry hitting perfectly in time with the music. Like the martial artists you've seen training so often, her grace and strength are incredible, but her body moves so freely. And perhaps you're simply inclined to see things this way, but it almost feels like she's being carried along by invisible currents, her turns and steps following unpredictably and beautifully around the impromptu stage, twirling and rising freely just as you remember swimming under the water. It's a strange comfort, and not a small one, the first time in years now that you feel even a little at home. The second song is a somber ballad, and she softly sings a song of love lost at sea, moving side-to-side across the room to portray the two singers' points of view. For the third, she returns to dancing, backed by a song which is slower but more cheerful than the first. There's another intense piece similar to the first, and then her last of the night is an apparently popular sailing song of the town, with the whole room chiming in to melancholy but familiar lyrics. You've never heard them before, but by the end of the song you feel comfortable to join in the chorus, still caught up in the surprising energy of the night. As she slips back out of the establishment, you resolve to come back for the next show.

You sleep through most of the day, and even after you're awake again, you only step outside briefly to get a bit of a view of the town. You're not ready to bother with your mission here, not when there's something so much more exciting to see.

* * *

The second night brings a few new songs, and ends with the same sing-along, but this time, you can't help but think she seems to be looking in your direction a little more. A third night, and she winks at you near the end of the first song. After the usual closer, she waits only a moment before rushing toward the exit, grabbing your hand and practically dragging you right out of the place. Once you've followed her to a spot on the shore, a few minutes away from the outskirts of the town, she sits, her legs dangling in water, and motions for you to move next to her.

"So then," she starts. "I can't say I've seen you around here-" she gestures broadly out over the water to emphasize that she doesn't just mean the bar, "-before. What's your story, milady?"

"Please don't call me that. You wouldn't know it, but I've heard enough of that for a hundred lifetimes."

"Oh? My apologies. I don't want to pry if you're uncomfortable, but I'm really quite intrigued. Even in this part of the world we don't get a lot of unfamiliar... _women of the water_ , if you catch my drift."

You don't say anything at first, a little bemused by wherever this whole conversation is going. Is that some kind of convenient euphemism, or is she just trying to be polite when she doesn't know what to call you?

"Because you see, _I'm_ one of those 'mermaids' they love to talk about so much around here, so I'd think I'd know if you were too." She hides her legs in her skirt for a moment, and like a magic trick they seem to disappear until a tail not terribly unlike your own slowly emerges in their place. "See?"

"It's a very long story."

"Well, I don't have anything going on till, oh, tomorrow night? So I'll hear as much as you want to say. Or as little, if you prefer."

It's a little difficult at first to talk to her. You haven't had this kind of conversation in a long time; one that's casual, one with someone who doesn't see you as some kind of superior to them, one with someone who's interested in _you_ , not The Living Memory And Incarnation Of All Humanity's Hopes. (And if she does know who you are in that other way before you start explaining it, she's doing a good job of pretending otherwise.) You tell her about your life in the lake, the dreams and becoming the Empress, and then stop, because it's hard to imagine how you'd talk about everything that happened next without just complaining about it. Forever. She smiles constantly listening to you, looking right at you with those green eyes and never breaking contact, and as your story winds down she nods. You decide to ask her how she started spending so much time around humans.

She explains that it's because of music. That she'd heard singing once from sailors on a boat, the same song she now leads every night in the bar, and over time came to learn and fall in love with all the unique expressions of music that don't exist the same way underwater, like instruments and dancing. You ask if she'd ever wished to be human, and she says no, that she what she loves is being able to be a part of both worlds.

You wish you could relate to that sentiment, especially when you've felt too lost to be a part of either for so long, but you can't help but feel joy in her happiness, especially as you realize the joy it's brought you as well.

* * *

Over the next few days, you become even closer to the dancer. She starts asking if you'd like to join her performances, learning to play, or sing, or even using the magic that's allowed her to learn to dance as humans do. You aren't sure, but you do start to hope that you won't have to leave this place, and her. And soon, you're talking to Sapphire, preparing a report to return to Avalon, when she asks what you've been doing at night. You try to avoid the question, but she sees right through you. As soon as she jumps to the question of whether you're thinking of giving up the throne, you realize there's no point in hiding it from her. And when you answer yes, finally telling her everything, she offers to help, which surprises you a little.

She's heard rumors of a witch in a nearby cave, who specializes in magic potions. Humans have sought her aid in hopes of finding mermaids for centuries, and while that doesn't quite describe your situation, it's more than enough of a lead, and she believes it may eventually prove useful to a future Emperor as well. The two of you leave early one morning, and reach the cave while the sun is high in the sky. While she believes the usual human potion won't work on you, she offers Sapphire the list of reagents she'd like in exchange, all of which she believes she can requisition from the magic institute in Avalon. For you, as you won't actually have to change forms, only become more accustomed to the sea, she only requires a few hairs from the mermaid and some water from your lake...which, conveniently, you've carried in a small vial since you've left, as a reminder of home. It won't be easy to give up, but perhaps it'll encourage you to return sometime, when you feel ready.

You're able to complete this small request the next day, and a few nights later, after leaving the bar, you lay on the shore once more, potion in hand. It's a little strange and sudden to imagine a new life for yourself, arriving so quickly. But she takes your hand, and you close your eyes and toss it back. Not long after, she begins to lead you into the water, and you follow, excited to finally see this new world she calls home.

* * *

The next week's report is likely the last time you'll see Sapphire. You both expect that she'll take a fall for aiding in your dereliction, facing expulsion from the institute if nothing else, but she doesn't seem concerned about it. She says the Emperors who've attempted to institute harsh justice generally haven't held their power or lives very long. And she's promised to bring a message from you to the other Nereids, explaining what's happened and your hope to eventually see them again. As far as you're concerned, that takes care of just about everything.

It seems likely that human history will one day forget you, as you fade into the water at the side of someone very dear to you. And that suits you just fine, because their world was never meant for you anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> playing romancing saga 2 as a trans person in 2020 is kind of...wild as fuck...because on some level it's impossible for me not to read the game as fundamentally queer, with the mechanics all but forcing the player to pass on the legacy and soul of leon's family through people of different genders from around the world across the centuries. despite that, many specific events (particularly the ones i focused on here) are so definitively heterosexual in intent that it's just really jarring. of course, the game's hardly alone in that either, since stuff like fate/grand order similarly has "charm the opposite gender (and not genderless characters)" skills and all that.
> 
> i'm maybe a little not thrilled i couldn't come up with more dialogue/development for the mermaid, but this is also a super weird and random little quest/storyline thing in the game, so. and really this ending up a little less gay-as-in-happy-and-also-gay and more frustrated and pessimistic about living in a stupid world is just how i am i guess, lol
> 
> but i really deeply love this game, and feel it's one of the most strange, moving, and human jrpgs i've played, for as frustrating and dated it is in many ways. at the same time, the fundamentally abstract characters, profoundly ambiguous nature of the main character, and intricate yet overwhelmingly non-linear plot made it tough to think of ideas to write for it. but the concept of making the whole mermaid thing super gay really captured me, and a couple others have come to mind on this second playthrough i've been doing. i think this won't be my last!


End file.
